The Good Life: My Story (some of it :)

THE GOOD LIFE BLOG POSTL.B. Neibaur

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In 2021, I was sitting in my living room working on a puzzle – alone – for what seemed like the first time in almost 15 years. After 11 years of homeschooling, a challenging move from state to state, upheaval in our careers, and finally getting settled into our new life – all of my kids chose to go back to public school. It was a huge relief, but also terrifying. I went from 7 different ages, stages, and curricula, a lot of noise and constant managing, to a quiet living room with my cross-eyed cat, my Aussie, and myself… and my puzzle and herbal tea, of course. I’m an introvert, so I don’t get lonely easily – but I’m also terrified of the feeling of loneliness.

It took me about two hours to clean the house, start dinner, and get myself ready for the day. What would I do with a 6-hour school day plus a 1-hour bus ride on either end? I was ecstatic!

But, as life does, that didn’t last. Instead, I found myself wondering if a career path I’d always thought interesting would be a good idea to look into. I also found myself with one kid back at home – public school isn’t a one-size-fits-all.

So, my quiet puzzling days lasted one trimester, and then I began working on my narration career. It was like the floodgates opened and motivation and excitement and ideas rushed through. However! There were some setbacks – number one, I hated social media, two, I was stressed out about everything! Every. Thing! I was a stress-mess. I think I was born that way. And three, I realized quickly that having a career and seven kids wasn’t going to be easy.

I rarely give advice – the older I get, the more I realize I don’t know much. I’m pretty sure at least two famous philosophers said something along those lines. Well, I’m neither a philosopher nor an amazing career woman, but I did learn a few things during this process. One of them was about self-care. Now, I’ve narrated about a dozen books on self-care. I learned something new from each one. But self-care for a mom of seven trying to start a career looks different than it does for – say… a mom of 1 who works outside the home, or a retired empty-nester, or someone with no kids – or someone with ten kids!

What was clear very quickly was that I had not taken good care of myself. So, it was a quiet morning sitting in my study, staring at a wall of really boring homeschool books and manuals, that I decided to return to something I love. I pulled out my yoga mat, and I turned on my favorite instructor – Yoga with Adriene. She speaks to my soul. 😊

I have always loved exercise, and I’ve always loved clean eating – I even love researching all the nerdy stuff about it – but for several years after our move, that version of self-care was neglected, and I realized that in order to think clearly and manage the chaos of my life, exercise was going to be my sanity IV. And it wasn’t going to be easy. It was going to be real and difficult.

You see, I had gone through a bout of depression after our move – yes, the move, I’ve mentioned it. It was… it was a crucible. James and I have many trials – we’re not immune, nor will we ever pretend to be on social media or anywhere else – life can frankly just suck. And this move was one of those giant “rug-being-pulled-out-from-under-you” trials.

We were doing just fine – until a newborn, a career JOLT, building a new house, living with the in-laws (bless them for their patience), and three of our children hatched into teenagers, all at the same time. Not to mention COVID in the middle of everything – while trying to build a “non-essential” business. We were not prepared for how difficult everything would be – and it would be a solid seven years before we got back on our feet.

During that time, my parents also made the big move to Idaho – a few years behind. They lived in a trailer in our yard while their home was being built up the road. I was so depressed that I spent at least an hour a day in the trailer with my parents and sister, eating. My mom has a bit of a different diet – and I have no idea how she is still 120 lbs at 5 foot 8 and looks 40 instead of 65 – or however old she is now. But, there I was eating ginger snaps and those evil chocolate balls in shiny wrappers filled with more chocolate that bursts in your mouth.

One day, I realized I was no longer healthy – or fit! And that is where my journey back to fitness began. Not just for my body – though yes, that was a very important transformation. A journey to fitness for my whole life – a lifelong work in progress of course, but I at least stepped onto the path.

I am the quintessential “J” type. If you know anything about Myers-Briggs personality types, you’ll know that I like checklists, schedules, calendars, seatbelts, rules (at least the ones that make sense), bedtimes, organized sock drawers, getting rid of things, traditions, and goals. But all of it had fallen apart, and I no longer trusted myself. So, the path to rehabilitation of my “J” was going to be long and hard. And it was.

But it’s also been healing. I lost 15 lbs, found out I love the gym – even though James and I used to secretly make fun of the “gym people,” and now they’re “our people.” I also got back on the path of habits that have helped and continue to help shape my career –a lifelong pursuit.

My life is still a mixture of chaos and attempts to manage it with to-do lists, love and logic, and multiple planners, but I am a thousand percent happier – and I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have appreciated the present nearly as much as I do without going through those seven years.

So, here I am – a mom of many, trying to break into the narration business, a “gym-goer” who has a lofty goal of benching 100 lbs in six months, and also a realist – who loves the good life C– who is also fully aware that without a doubt, there will always be setbacks – but like muscle memory – once we’ve practiced good habits, we can always find that path again